@BetteMidler: Amal Clooney bought hubby George a riding lawnmower for his 55th birthday. I have never been so jealous of a garden tool in my life.
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@Lisabug74: My mom sometimes texts me pictures of Buddha with an inspirational text like: "Be kind to others, Evil Lisa"
@RefractReality: In terms of spelling difficulty, I think the word "average" is between easy and hard.
@Try2StopME: Doctors would be pretty cool superheroes except for the fact their weakness is apples.
@DanielEdison_: "People keep accidentally asking me to purchase meat for them" "By mistake?" "Not you as well".