@JillianKarger: “Oh wow, I don’t even recognize myself!” -Lois Lane getting fitted for glasses

@Brentweets: Chipotle has been hacked for an hour and hasn't noticed... Taylor Swift was hacked and wrote an album about it 30 seconds after.

@knotaprettygirl: Let's give a big round of applause to everyone on Facebook who went to the gym today even though they "hate it"!! They are the real heroes.

@FattMernandez: A giant rabbit died on a United flight. One man is suspected of foul play. We tried to reach him for comment but he's being vewy vewy quiet.

@Not_From_Troy: What if we all do not exist and God is alone just imagining us?