@Lovestained555: *amasses epic army of stoners but we do nothing because epic army of stoners*
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@theshantilly: Me: How awful do I look? Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on? Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.
@kumailn: If someone's mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
@XplodingUnicorn: The fastest person on earth isn't Usain Bolt. It's any parent with a toddler who just said they have to poop.
@Im_Tricia: I wish there was a way to tell if this guy is being nice to me because he likes me or if it's just because he's Canadian.