@Lovestained555: *amasses epic army of stoners but we do nothing because epic army of stoners*
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@crunchenhanced: [ In bed, trying to find a cold spot ] Ahhhh, there it is... Wife: Get off of me!!
@Overdue_Bills: She was like "wrong hole", so I said "adventurous on the e-harmony profile isn't knitting quilts Velma", long story short I'm still single.
@PetrickSara: Them: children are innocent and go to heaven Me: so you're saying Hell is child free?