@ReticentTurnip: Amazingly, this sentence contains all letters of the alphabet djkquvwxz
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@AnneM69: I love people who IM me to tell me that they left a voice message to say that they sent me an email
@Matt_The_1st: I think the saying "every man for himself" was made up by women tired of making sandwiches
@PrettyInCamo11: The officer said, "you drinking?" I said, "you buying?" We just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.
@WhaJoTalkinBout: [text] Hub: I have to go to the doctor. Me: Is it your eyes? Hub: Yes! Me: Is your vision blurry? Hub: Yes!! Me: You're wearing my contacts.