@ReticentTurnip: Amazingly, this sentence contains all letters of the alphabet djkquvwxz
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@goldengateblond: Anyone who says cheetahs are the fastest land mammals hasn't seen me move a cat off an expensive area rug before he pukes.
@thatcarlygirl: "Uh-oh!" - My toddler, looking me dead in the eye while he feeds his dinner to the dog
@DepecheALAmode: I want my funeral to be sad and completely serious. Then right when my coffin starts lowering into the ground the song from Tetris plays.
@Sarcasticsapien: Coworker: If you had to do it all over again, would you? Me: Yeah. Cw: You would? Why? Me: Because I know what the words "had to" means.