@ReticentTurnip: Amazingly, this sentence contains all letters of the alphabet djkquvwxz
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@AlexRogaski: [On couch, notices it's 6pm] Luckily I don't have to pick up the kids from the Christmas party until 8. *Notices it's February* OH SHIT
@WittySassBasket: If I had all the money, I would pay people to sneak up behind you and blast a bullhorn right before you hit send on a political tweet.