@StellaRtwot: Amazon is selling used copies of 50 Shades....ewe
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@JediGigi: Just found out a spider's been living in my shower. Just hanging out. Quietly. Watching me. So, long story short, I HAVE A NEW BOYFRIEND!
@LurkAtHomeMom: Me: what should I do? Dentist: stop eating sugar, drinking coffee and wine, cut back on stress.. Me: right but like realistically
@stephenjmolloy: Wife: "How did your first day as a lifeguard go?" Me: "Amazingly well, thanks. Everyone was so friendly and waving at me."