@TheMichaelRock: Amazon Prime is probably the least threatening of all the Transformers.
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@simoncholland: Why would my wife ask if I was wearing this shirt when it's already on? Stop talking in secret code.
@WeissBrandon: YOU ARE GROUNDED!!!! ~ me, yelling hilarious shit at the beef in this grocery store.
@singing_ghosts: [texting in 1918] *pigeon delivers message* *msg reads: I don't love you* *turns to u* why would u send this? "it was 6 days ago. I was mad"