@DarkerWillow: Amazon Prime sounds like a great dating site for Super Fierce Cougars.
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@Daniel_Sloss: Airport receptionist: anything to declare? Me: how bout these guns? *flexes* Her: OH GOD HE'S GOT GUNS! Me: wait.. I was.. Her: HELP!! AGH!
@Lisabug74: My husband joined me in the shower this morning. Can’t a gal eat a breakfast burrito in peace?
@StatMan_Who: Are @bt_uk responsible for the crime and violence in our society? @funTweeters @TheComedyHumor @OurNameIsFun
@NervousJr: Don't feel like going to the gym? Go to all your ex's facebook pages and see who they're dating now. Then go to the gym.