@Brentweets: America is 5 wars away from receiving a free one.
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@MandiAtRandom: Forgot to do laundry again. I bet everyone at work is going to love my prom dress.
@AmericanGent69: Picture someone chasing down a ping pong ball that fell on the floor. Ok that's how I dance.
@xodeadlykissxo: Place a STUDENT DRIVER sign on top of your car, and suddenly nobody suspects you of drunk driving.
@tastefactory: Manager: Your fired Me: *You're Manager: How did you know I spelled it wrong if I spoke it out loud Me: How did you know I corrected you