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@Brentweets: America is 5 wars away from receiving a free one.
@bruinsphan_24: *jesus walking on water*
Jesus: 12 disciples and not one of you is filming this?!
@undeadmolly: Not usually a big fan of God, but I have admit telling Cruz to run for president then making him lose to a reality TV clown was an A+ prank.
@SilleVio: Me: "God! I hate people!"
God: "Yeah, me too."
@ValeeGrrl: Other parents do back-to-school pics of kids holding signs w/ their grade on it & mine are just a series of selfies w/ me & the bus driver.
@scarebro: "For I am Christ the Redeemer, He Who Saves!"- Jesus, using his coupons.