@Laser_Cat: America only considers a war a success if we build a Bed Bath and Beyond in the enemy's capital.
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@TheAlexNevil: Whoever said "Just showing up is half the battle" (a) didn't understand battles and (b) probably died quickly after showing up.
@hazelmotes1: "I missed you so much!" I shout as I run past my wife's open arms and jump into my bed.
@sixthformpoet: Charlie And The Chocolate Factory is my favourite book about a weird guy who murders four children then convinces another to live with him.