@Landon8426: American Ninja Warrior is a bunch of people who took "the floor is lava" game way to seriously as kids.
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@PharmerRPh: Judge: "Reason for divorce?" Me: "Reconcilable differences." Judge: "Don't you mean irreconcilable?" Me: "Ugh. You sound just like her."
@thatUPSdude: Sometimes It's nice just to sit with the person you love. But then it has to get all awkward and her husband is all "Why you at our table?"
@TheIronSherk: *turns on deep-fryer* *tosses in chicken nuggets* *adds chamomile and lavender* *recites from the Book of Shadows* Voila, Wiccan Nuggets