@Landon8426: American Ninja Warrior is a bunch of people who took "the floor is lava" game way to seriously as kids.
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@truegritrumble: INTERVIEWER: Your greatest weakness? ME: I'm told my laugh is sinister. INTERVIEWER: Lol. That can't be true. ME: Mwahahaha. I know, right.
@julietactually: Saw this lady taking pics of stuff and I was like your camera is facing the wrong way, psycho
@Poutymcgee: Friend: *passes me her newborn baby* Me: What is this clothed potato and why have you given it to me?
@iLightbulb: Me:I need to focus on work Brain: Remember that sweet song on the radio this morning? Me:Yeah that was sweet Brain: Let's sing that instead