@Landon8426: American Ninja Warrior is a bunch of people who took "the floor is lava" game way to seriously as kids.
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@iwearaonesie: wife: Why are there dishes in the sink? my son’s last words: Because you didn’t do them
@allthatisbecca: I knew I was in trouble when the lady doing my nails shouted "WHO DO YOUR EYEBROW?!"
@werehedgehog: No, they're not called hedge funds because hedgehogs control the global economy. What a silly idea. :) *later to thugs* They know too much.