@Landon8426: American Ninja Warrior is a bunch of people who took "the floor is lava" game way to seriously as kids.
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@TheNardvark: Refrigerator ice dispensers are perfect for those times when you need either zero or 5000 ice cubes.
@JamieGreenlees: I don't hate you, but if you we're drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck.
@urmumsausername: Now I lay me down to sleep I hope you like this and retweet If I should die before I wake I may have eaten too much cake