@pattymo: AMERICAN SNIPER is, without a doubt, the most violent entry in the AMERICAN PIE series
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@amselts: *cleans house while wife's out* W: *walks in* wow babe, thanks so- M: APRIL FOOL'S *runs around making huge mess til it's worse than before*
@MondayPajamas: Her: I think my IUD came loose and is floating around in there Me: C'mere, I drop my guitar pick in the sound hole all the time, no problem
@Rhythms_n_Booze: Cop: What's the hurry? Me: Nothing officer - Just didn't want to slow you down. Cop: I was pulling you over. Me: Well I get that. Now.
@bingowings14: Reduce your kids intake of sugary, fizzy drinks by shaking up the can before handing it to them.