@pattymo: AMERICAN SNIPER is, without a doubt, the most violent entry in the AMERICAN PIE series
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@CodyJP9412: COP: Do u know why I pulled u over? ME: *looks at the penguin in my passenger seat* God damnit Ralph I told u to put ur seatbelt on.
@michael_raphone: there's two types of people inthe world: cops who are a week from retirement and robbers who want to go straight but have to do one last job
@Trustedshoe: Me: Enough about me, what are some of your interests? Dinner Date: I love Youtube. Me: Don't call me a tube [looks around] you soup face.
@economybacon: Carl: Everybody was Kung fu fighting! Doug: um, I don't know Kung f-- Carl: except for Doug from accounting