@TheOnion: Americans Celebrate 10 Millionth 'Bring Yourself To Work Day'
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@ilovepie84: I broke into your house and slept under your bed all night to protect you from the perverts out there.
@Holy_Mowgli: ICEBERG: heard about ernie? ICEBERG 2: yep…clobbered by a cruise ship ICEBERG: gotta be careful—damn things are 86% hidden above the surface
@dumbbeezie: I do the same thing every other woman my age does in the shower. Argue with people in my head.