@causticbob: Americans: Iran and Iraq are countries, not Apple products, so say their names properly.
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@TheTweetOfGod: The only way to make conservatives feel threatened by climate change is to convince them the climate is gay.
@OBiiieeee: If you watch the Mighty Ducks backwards it's about a hockey team that starts sucking so bad that the coach leaves and becomes an alcoholic.
@Tommytoughstuff: [the cops release the cadaver sniffing dogs into my living room for the third time this week] ME: *pauses netflix* I told you I'm not dead!
@Adam14: I use my teethbrush then go play feetball and commit arms robbery. Just giving you a head up. - people with the right amount of body parts