@donni: Amish murderers get the acoustic chair.
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@XGroverX: I don't know why smokey the bear carries a shovel, but it scares the shit out of me.
@pakalupapito: out of all my body parts, I'm sure my eyes are in the best shape. I do at least 463 eye rolls a day.
@david8hughes: Me: coming to the office Xmas party? Steve: no [whispers] Lisa just lost her father Me: there'll be like 50 of us there. We'll help you look
@elynnbarlow: Apparently in yoga when the instructor says, 'next we go into our downward dog,' it is frowned upon to make the 'bowchickabowow' sound.