@Barknado69: Amoeba: dad, how was I made?
Amoeba Dad: well son, when a man loves himself very much
@mrtruthandsoul: Nurse: The doctor will be with you shortly...do you want me to close the door?
Me: Do you wanna watch?
Nurse: *closes door*
@OtherDanOBrien: [a 2nd grade classroom 5 yrs from now]
TEACHER: Khaleesi M, please leave Khaleesi S alone. Khaleesi T, I still need your permission slip
@craigrachel: The dogboner /Neil degrasse Tyson situation has been an elaborate ruse all so Michael hale could claim on gawker that he has a girlfriend
@fillthevacuum: *gives your eulogy after inhaling helium*
@SteveKoehler22: Vegetarians and vegans
are admirable ......
but cannibals are the real humanitarians.