@ShortWhiteNUgly: An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him.
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@MichaelTrying: The worst part of being named Michael is repeatedly being broken up with via a text that states *drops Mike*
@DevilryFun: I'm not scared I'll end up in an asylum after a breakdown. I'm scared someone will record it on their phone and I'll end up on a GIF.
@causticbob: I saw a sign that said "Watch for children" I thought to myself "That sounds like a fair trade"