@ShortWhiteNUgly: An 8 yr old boy was screaming at the grocery store because his mom wouldn't buy him a Mars bar. So I bought one and ate it in front of him.
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@djdarrellripley: Her: You have a cigarette machine in your kitchen? Me: Well it would look ridiculous in the living room...
@Ygrene: [From Basement]: *scary murdery noise* Me: oh shit Me: *makes slightly more scary more murdery noise* [From Basement]: Oh shit