@RandomRamblr: An accountant who disappears with all his client's money is a math magician.
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@man_spach: My car ran out of gas in a trailer park and now I have the most expensive home in the neighborhood.
@OtherDanOBrien: *hot girl puts a cherry stem in her mouth* *twists it around with her tongue* *pulls it out* *it spells "I LIKE YOU AS A FRIEND"*
@platinum2000: You don't have to seduce me with restraining orders and joyrides on the hood of your car, you had me at. "No, I was waving at my friend."
@mexinonblonde: You're a big fat liar! And I don't believe anything you say! See if I get naked for you again!! -Me to my scale as I step off of it