@RandomRamblr: An accountant who disappears with all his client's money is a math magician.
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@teen_news69: LIBERAL PARENTS REFUSE TO GIVE NAUGHTY TEEN COAL: "fossils fuels cause global warming" "billy woke up to solar panels in his stocking"
@djdarrellripley: Me: Don't be mean to my friend. Her: Your friend just broke in my door and almost strangled me. Me: I said he was my friend, not yours.
@TitansHomer: MTV stopped having their "Unplugged" specials because the shitty artists we have now can't play any instruments.
@xysist: Women are so jealous. I bet Eve counted Adam's ribs everyday to see if another woman had been created.