@KKAlThani: An alarm clock that sends the person you like one of your deleted mirror pictures every time you hit the snooze button.
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@ChaseMit: Obama says he supports gay marriage because his views have "evolved." Republicans unsure which half of the sentence to get more angry about.
@KalvinMacleod: Day 3 of weight loss challenge: all my coworkers look like tacos. I do not understand how the meat remains in the shell as they walk around.