@PJTLynch: An annoying part of life in the 80s was when you're already late and, once again, you gotta shoo away some sexy lady lying all over your car
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@ericsshadow: NASA: you've been selected to spend a year on the space station ME: wow that's awesome NASA: you and your entire family! ME: oh ok no thanks
@QueefTornado: Me: This chicken is undercooked. Wife: You don't appreciate my cooking. Me: I think the vet could save it if it we took it right now.
@daplusk: The most uncomfortable part of seeing your work colleague crying at their desk is asking them if it's because they're named Ralph