@noahrobbinsman: An app that makes your phone ring whenever someone asks "so what's next for you"
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@Donna_McCoy: There's no time capsule quite like the pocket of a coat that's been in the closet for a year.
@nbadag: [very obviously being hit on] hahaha ok well, see you around [4 days later, cutting open a cantaloupe] wait a second
@rockstarfish: Today, coworker deemed herself "unscareable". Now I have no choice but to hide in the backseat of her car with an axe & correct her grammar.