@jeffporper: An app that scans phone lines for fax machines and sends the word "why".
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@ojedge: [1st date] Me: [putting my jacket over my dates shoulders] Her: "Thank you but I'm not cold" Me: [covering her awful dress] "Yes you are"
@Parkerlawyer: 6, holding a pic of me pregnant with him, "Why are you SO FAT?" Me, "You're inside my tummy." 6, "That's DISGUSTING." Me, "It gets worse.."
@jaboukie: me: *is guillotined in a whole foods* cnn: Man Beheaded In Grains Section Has Dark Past Of Illegally Downloading T-Pain Songs In 2007
@rickolantern: Just finished the first chapter of this novel. Tons of characters with the same name and really hard to follow. Sir, that's a phone book.