@jeffporper: An app that scans phone lines for fax machines and sends the word "why".
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@Darlainky: I'm never more irritated by fashion than when I'm trying to stuff something in a fake pocket!
@RikNasty2Point0: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I live in Canada. So, free health care.
@RainbowJohnJ: A man once asked me what autodefenestration meant. Avoiding the question, I jumped out a window.
@yonewt: My wife's signature move is asking me a question then turning on the faucet when I answer.