@charliedelta7: An apple a day can keep ANYONE away if you throw it really hard at their face
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@FeralCrone: Listen, you should really give your mother a call. She's concerned that "the haters" in her Zumba class are organizing and gaining power.
@Book_Krazy: [Arrives at work dressed as a sexy kitty] Boss: *points to memo on desk* "It says no Halloween costumes" Me: *slowly pushes memo off desk*
@MichaelGoffLA: Pot has never been proven harmful to humans, but the way it makes those huge holes in the street has to give you pause.