@charliedelta7: An apple a day can keep ANYONE away if you throw it really hard at their face
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@bluntphilip: Rich people in movies apparently can't drink scotch without telling everyone how old it is.
@Amburglar_: If someone came to my door & said "We'll give you a dollar for every plastic bag shoved under your kitchen sink." I'd be living large.
@knot_eye: Even though she's not Native American, my Wife always sends smoke signals to let me know when dinner is ready.
@mrtruthandsoul: How much of this "no more tears" shampoo do I have to feed this baby to get it to stop crying?