@TheHyyyype: An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A banana will scare off most lawyers. Eat a pomegranate and every architect within a three-mile radius will shit himself.
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@NoTheOtherJohn: I can really relate to eminem in "8 mile" because my moms spaghetti is really bad too
@Dana_MuChick: True story Cute Male Nurse: I need to untie your gown. Me: Not on the first date. #SaidWhileUnderAnesthesia
@BoogTweets: [at the gym] wheat: *flexing* you like what you see babe? *shredded wheat walks by* wheat: SONOFA
@SortaBad: Avocado Toast was invented by the Deep State as a way to suppress the economic advancement of millennials