@TheHyyyype: An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A banana will scare off most lawyers. Eat a pomegranate and every architect within a three-mile radius will shit himself.
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@Ivsy01: A guy in line just asked me to hold his coffee and I'm like I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
@Benoo_Brown: Jenny isn't messing around
@therealeatwood: [Wedding] “…to join these two in holy matrimony. The Ring, please?” [Maid of Honor pops tape in VCR.] [One week later: everyone dies.]
@TrentoMento: Ha ha! OH, HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED! "dude, are you gonna do this every time you rearrange the furniture"
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