@TheHyyyype: An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A banana will scare off most lawyers. Eat a pomegranate and every architect within a three-mile radius will shit himself.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Ivsy01: A guy in line just asked me to hold his coffee and I'm like I'm not looking for anything serious right now.
@therealeatwood: [Wedding] “…to join these two in holy matrimony. The Ring, please?” [Maid of Honor pops tape in VCR.] [One week later: everyone dies.]