@VerifiedBakchod: "An apple a day takes Billion Dollars away" ~ Samsung
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@pinupteacher: I walk into the main office of a new school: Secretary: You a sub? *cheeks blush* Me: Who have you been talking to?
@omgthatspunny: The Black Death was the best disease. Any attempts to replicate it are just plague-iarism.
@michaelianblack: Kim Davis becoming a Republican, dealing a huge blow to the "intolerant homophobic religious fundamentalist" wing of the Democratic Party.