@StoferComic: An argument with my wife is like the gas pedal on a Prius. I can put my foot down, but I don't really expect much to happen...
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@tastefactory: Hey water enhancer company, you could have made your pineapple flavor literally any other color.
@goodtimenoel: You're all arguing about what color the dress is... While I'm having sex with the girl who took it off.
@AristotlesNZ: Those of you wondering what its like to be married: Just found out this morning I'm on day 3 of an argument I didn't know I was having...
@emilygabaldon: What kind of dessert do ghosts always come back for?? A Boo Meringue
@SarahKSilverman: From what I can piece together, this Pitbull character enjoys "partying"
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