@KissabiX: [at a farm] Dairy cow: Oooh that tickles Sheep: Look I got a new "hairdo" Chicken: Cool I didn't want to know any of my children anyway

@heatherlou_: *slips seductively out of shorts* You know what that means... *sleeps soundly for 7 hours* *drools a little*

@CoreyNotKori: My handwriting has slowly morphed from cheerleader to serial killer to elephant with a paint brush.

@bridger_w: Amazing how a fight can break out at the grocery store over something as simple as knocking over someone's cart and demanding they fight you

@rachelle_mandik: most german shepherds don't know much german at all and are relieved when you try english