@LlamaInaTux: If dogs named famous people, we would have: -Bark Wahlberg -Bark Zuckerberg -Bark Hammill -Bark Obama -Charles Barkley would still be Charles Barkley

@Darlainky: I'm not usually a fan of non-fiction, but this Cheesecake Factory menu is a real page turner.

@davidkenny100: Date: Are you ready to take on another man's child? Me: yes Later- Date: This is.. *I knock her kid out with one punch Me: too easy!

@skickwriter: Saying you like a lot of meat in your taco is received differently on Twitter than it is on Facebook. I know that now.

@iwearaonesie: *wife spends all morning convincing son not to be afraid of the dentist* "Dad are you coming too?" Hell no dentists scare the shit out of me