@kimt205: An egg just followed me. Now I just need some bacon.
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@TheIronSherk: [Ouija board] O spirits, let me talk to m- C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I-N-G C-O-N-N-E-C-T-I *squints* What the heck? A 3G board?
@robfee: No matter how lazy you feel, just remember that Goldilocks decided to take a nap during a b&e.
@LeBearGirdle: Jesus: one of you will betray me tonight *checks phone* Jesus: WHO IN DAD'S NAME UNFOLLOWED ME?!" *judas slyly slips phone back in robe*
@RorynotRoy: Spent all last night mouthing words to my dog to try and convince him that he'd gone deaf.