@kimt205: An egg just followed me. Now I just need some bacon.
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@LeagueofNope: I have never once hit a drink or treated one badly so don't tell me about alcohol abuse!
@ruinedpicnic: [puts scarf on snowman] Girl: to keep u warm Snowman: I am made of snow. G: omg you're alive! S: ok but lets get past that. are you stupid
@Brianhopecomedy: Walked into the kitchen and saw my wife laughing while putting a banana in the garbage disposal so I think I'll sleep in the other room.