@_davidlucas_: An egg with 28 followers says I'm not funny. So if you need me, I'll just be in the kitchen making an omelette.
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@nPhelendriqal: Ughh...7 more hours till I can go home. Oh, sorry, my Canadian friends...7 more Kilometers till I can go home. Or is it liters?
@DanMentos: [nabisco hq] "Wheat Thins sales are down we need ideas" *raises hand* "anyone else?" … … "ok Dan, but I swear to god if u say-" Wheat Thicks
@Carbosly: Facebook: I'm happy! Instagram: I'm pretty! Vine: I'm artsy! Pinterest: I'm crafty! Twitter: I'm lying everywhere but here.
@hazelmotes1: Giving your kid a recorder and telling him to go home and practice is how teachers get revenge on society for paying them so poorly.