@HousewifeOfHell: An enterprising neighborhood kid started a business to fill in all those grownup coloring books for us. I feel more relaxed already.
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@robfee: Mitt Romney announcing he’s not running for president is like Johnny Depp announcing there won’t be a sequel to Mortdecai.
@CatherineLMK: Please continue finishing your text in the crosswalk, Mr. Pedestrian. It's not like I'm driving a giant metal instrument of death.
@mlinhart: Dear fork, I just wanted to inform you that you have a son. His name is Spork. Love always, Spoon PS: he has your hair.