@CherBear162: An example of men's inability to understand women - Me: I have Nothing To Wear!! Him: Awesome!
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@stevevsninjas: This hasn't helped my bull get any sleep at all. In fact, the closer I get to him with the bulldozer, the more agitated he gets.
@JasonLastname: I hate when you forget to wear a belt and have to shoot heroin using the blood pressure machine at walgreens.
@junejuly12: Asking if judges go commando under their robes is a sure-fire way to get out of jury duty.
@outsmartedmommy: The best way to prepare for Motherhood is to put Dora on TV for 9 months, set your alarm for every 45 minutes and throw food on your floors.