@TheTweetOfGod: An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. But a tooth is worth half an eye, so an eye for two teeth also works, if you're out of eyes.
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@JediGigi: Him: When I suggested we try a little role play, this is not what I had in mind Me: [in Jabba the Hutt costume] JUST PUT ON THE GOLD BIKINI
@YourAnMoron: It's pretty impressive that Beethoven could play the piano considering he was a St. Bernard.
@KurtBusiek: I saw a tweet saying liberals should create their own Captain America. They did. In 1940.