@mjkspeaks: An important phone call is something that occurs when there's no better excuse to ignore someone.
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@crunchenhanced: [In cubicle at work] *pretends to start clipping my nails* *tosses uncooked grains of rice onto co-workers desk with each clip* CW: WTF!
@ScottLinnen: Have a friend who takes pics of her food and then goes to the restroom to delete them all. Instagramorexia Nervosa.
@Lisa_Laughs_: You said I could have my way with you. If you didn't want me to experiment with gas and fire, you should've been more specific.
@One_FineMess: If two people love each other nothing is impossible... Except deciding where to eat.