@TellingTellers: An interrogator that just goes into the room and loudly eats a peach until the suspect confesses to everything.
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@GaryJanetti: I just found out five people I went to high school with are dead. What's taking the rest of them so long?
@dafloydsta: [date] HER: Silence of the Lambs is my favorite movie. ME: Oh me too. HER: Which part do you like best? ME: *sweating* Um, when the lambs stop talking.
@joejwest: DATE: You hear that an ostrich escaped from the zoo? ME: [from the kitchen] No DATE: Oh. What's for dinner? ME: A suspiciously large chicken