@NicestHippo: An issue that will unite all Americans
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife asked me to get the house ready as her friend is sleeping here tonight so as an optimist our bed now has 3 pillows.
@yerpalmildsauce: WARDEN: You have been sentenced to the Electric Cher ME: in the what now *a metallic voice sings out: ＤＯ ＹＯＵ ＢＥＬＩＥＶＥ ＩＮ ＬＩＦＥ ＡＦＴＥＲ ＬＯＶＥ*
@transaParent: I just taped the TV remote to my dogs back so I'll never lose it again. Your move Apple.