@13spencer: An Italian rugby player will miss a match against Scotland after being bitten by a dog; Scotland was quoted as saying "good boy."
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@AndyRichter: If you're not carrying around matchbooks from places you've been recently I don't know why you don't want your murder to be solved
@SlayerSays: Pretty certain the only way I'd ever be involved in gardening is if someone murdered me & planted me in their garden.
@YSK_MOtiVe: My mum needs to stop using all the blenders for stew.. It's pissing me off having spicy Oreo milkshake