@clindsaysway: An obese old man who breaks into your house at night? A tiny flying woman who buys your dead teeth? It's a wonder children can sleep at all.
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@NicestHippo: [college ad] High schoolers: You've sat in a chair for 4 years. How would you like to do that again, but this time at enormous cost to you?
@TheDjinnTrials: I will be with you always and forever, even during the rough times, until the day we die. -Herpes
@junejuly12: When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard My second thought is virgin wizard
@ceejoyner: So many brave flute players were killed by cobras in picnic baskets before one of them tried an Indian song.