@clindsaysway: An obese old man who breaks into your house at night? A tiny flying woman who buys your dead teeth? It's a wonder children can sleep at all.
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@Wussawilla: Remember when you first joined twitter and you had no idea how to RT or what favstar was and remembered what your family looked like?
@seamussaid: FYI: hey my wife came home in a terrible mood and I figured I'd read her one of my tweets to cheer her up, turns out that's a bad idea guys
@DadandBuried: As far as I'm concerned, anyone who suggests I should have a third child is committing a hate crime.