@zoebread: an octopus is just a wet spider
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@rolldiggity: ME: "Trick or bear?" NEIGHBOR: "Bear?" ME: "HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR!" [distant roar and sounds of clanking chains]
@calamitydaisy: I feel a burst of superiority when I trick a fly into flying out of my car window.
@DanMentos: "How can I help you? Hi I'd like a root canal "Are you a patient here?" No "Who referred you to us?" No one "Ok then why-" I have a Groupon
@theDanLawler: New rule: advertisements can no longer use adjectives. I'll decide what is "fresh" and "natural" and "like a real girl" thank you very much