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@zoebread: an octopus is just a wet spider
@sarcasticmommy4: I hate it when I go to hide out from my kids in the walk-in closet & my husband is already in there hiding out from me.
@bornmiserable: "Don't get any ideas." - Worn out light bulb
@TheReal_AndyMac: I wonder how many illegitimate socks are out there because of me?
@DeronH: A police officer came up to me yesterday and asked me "Where were you between four and six?" I replied, "Kindergarden"
@ShaunRightNow: Smiling releases endorphins in your body, which relieves stress.
All I have to do now is explain that to my proctologist when he's done.