@zoebread: an octopus is just a wet spider
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@LMuenster: [orders 2,000 Big Macs thinking I'll only have to tell my mom 'I love her' for them] Cashier: that'll be $5,364.32 Me: shit
@rocknthepurple: I'm getting to the age where I could be a cougar, but Wikipedia says cougars are "slender and agile" which pretty much rules that out.
@Just_BCS: Wine - you're gonna sleep good Beer - you're probably going to hit on your cousin. Whiskey - everyone will see your genitals.
@therealeatwood: NARRATOR: Here we see the gentle reindeer gamboling in the woods… DASHER: [pushing stack of Xmas cookies] Raise NARRATOR: I SAID GAMBOLING