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@DurtMcHurtt: An octopus should have eightacles, not ten.
@TheToddWilliams: "I propose a toast"
"I propose a bagel."
"Ya bagel, much better."
@thepunningman: Me: It stands for Greatest Of All Time
Jeweller: I just don't think your wife will want "THE GOAT IS MINE" inscribed on her wedding ring
@briangaar: Son, let me tell you the story of the Three Bears. A girl broke into their house and they ate her. Stay out of my stuff, goodnight
@bridger_w: At my funeral, I'd like my family, my closest friends, and a high-pitched squeal no one can locate the source of