@allthenachos: An online dating service but to match you up with prospective burritos.
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@nicfit75: Fact: Children can hear at a higher frequency than adults. How no one has developed an effective child-repellant yet is beyond me.
@TylerComeOn: Stomach: I'm hungry. Brain: Chill out, dude, she's in a meeting. Stomach: I WILL NOW DEMONSTRATE A WHALE'S MATING CALL.
@juliussharpe: If a non-profit accidentally makes a profit they must be like, "Guys we totally suck at losing money."
@decentbirthday: me: i have test anxiety classmate: it's okay, jesus has answers jesus: *descending from sky* the first three are all D