@huntigula: an owl mistook my man bun for a sleeping hamster again today
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@squirrel74wkgn: I'm just saying honey, if I sound like a cat throwing up hair balls the next day...it may be time to trim things up a bit.
@Brampersandon_: When I die I want my funeral to be closed casket but like half way thru someone opens the lid and surprise - it's a nacho bar inside
@DonSchanke: For once I would like to find a babysitter that doesn't get all upset when she gets to my house and realizes I don't have kids