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@huntigula: an owl mistook my man bun for a sleeping hamster again today
@NotJPo: I may be delusional, but at least every single person I've ever met is in love with me
@AnkCoupleTO: Genie: I'll grant you 3 wishes
Me: I want to fall in love
G: OK next
M: With a really nice girl
*we both start laughing*
@BrettDruck: Me: omg look how bad they messed up my name at Starbucks, this isn't even close
lupita nyong'o: that's my coffee
@Book_Krazy: Me: Watcha got there?
Me: What kind?
@donni: Worst Excuses For Being Late
5) Too many dragons
4) Out of dragons
3) I'm not late, Steve is
2) Time is fake
1) Made a list of excuses