@shaunmoynihan: An SEO expert walks into a bar, bars, beer garden, hangout, lounge, night club, mini bar, bar stool, tavern, pub, beer, wine, whiskey...
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@pitbull_wizard: [blind date is waiting nervously at the table] *I slowly emerge out of my own massive vape cloud and begin walking towards her*
@LosLos__: *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* *swipes left* Wife: STOP TOUCHING MY FOREHEAD!
@TheRealJackDee: Does anyone have the number of a painter/decorator? I really need to get all my windows jammed so they never open again.
@Reverend_Scott: SON: Can horses run in the Olympics? DAD: Wouldn't be fair SON: Why not? DAD: [hand on son's shoulder] Usain Bolt is just too fast, buddy