@Parentpains: And I thought I had issues. - Me, 36 seconds after signing up on twitter.
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@UnicornSyrup: "I decided I wanted to be a ninja so I googled "Ninja School", followed the link and the page could not be found. Well played, Ninja School"
@slimmy_shady: Homeless man asked me if I could 'spare some change'. I told him 'change comes from within'. Long story short, I'm missing a kidney.
@LoriGallucci: "Mommy does Barbie come with Ken?" "No sweetie, Barbie comes with GI Joe, she just fakes it with Ken"
@AmishPornStar1: I don't know why I would want to "Keep Up" with them... I don't even know where Kardashia is. (geography's not my strong suit)