@Parentpains: And I thought I had issues. - Me, 36 seconds after signing up on twitter.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Shock_Monster: The cruelest part of the movie Bambi?nnnnHis mom named him "Bambi." nnShe deserved what she got for that.
@SteveDutzy: I hate killing bugs so instead I spend hours trying to get it in a cup so I can toss it outside after accidentally taking off 3 of its legs.
@stephenjmolloy: Teacher: Your daughter is doing so well at school we'd like to move her forward a year. Me: *whispering* oh my god they invented time travel.
@WilliamRodgers: Don't let that "Metalica" t-shirt fool you. She knows every word to Miley Cyrus' "Wrecking Ball"