@Parentpains: And I thought I had issues. - Me, 36 seconds after signing up on twitter.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@2thestreetz: If you want world peace, your army should be made up of massage therapists. I mean, who could fight while getting a relaxing massage?
@DonQuickoats: The best way to respond to a limp handshake is to tickle their palm with your middle finger
@Phook75: I just folded a fitted sheet so beautifully an owl just delivered a Hogwarts acceptance letter to my house