@JElvisWeinstein: "And if all your friends were jumping off a bridge, would you make up a story about jumping off a bridge too?"-- Teen Brian Williams' mother
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Fingers_of_Fury: Someone tweets "pizza," I want pizza. Someone tweets "donut," I want a donut. Someone tweets "kale," I want pizza and a donut.
@ItsJennaMarbles: Running away doesnt help you with your problems, unless you're fat. Then yeah, run.
@thefurlinator: "I'll see you in hell" should be followed with "and I won't even stop to say hi". Otherwise you're just making plans with someone you hate
@DaHess1: Wanna screw with your idiot friends on Facebook? Post that Obama passed a law to stay in office a third term this morning. Praise Jesus.