@theshamingofjay: And if I die before I wake I pray a virus my phone to take.
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@TheCatWhisprer: I just laid on my cat's keyboard while he was working on a last minute PowerPoint presentation.
@Terdoh: Eat, Pray, Love was such a boring movie, I watched it on a plane and people still walked out.
@SteveKoehler22: Oddly enough, ever since downloading AdBlock onto my computer ..... all the local girls in my area seem to have lost interest.
@CindyBegel: Sometimes when my cat is sitting on a chair, I sneak up, shake the chair hard, yelling, "EARTHQUAKE!" Sadly, like many, she's not prepared