@rolldiggity: "And if you look out to the left, you'll miss everything to the right. Remember, every choice is also a loss." - Me as a tour guide
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@AndyAsAdjective: She looks at me with those come hither eyes & I'm over here frantically flipping thru a dictionary trying to figure out what "hither" means.
@SteveSuckington: The only thing worse than sitting down on a cold toilet seat is sitting down on a warm toilet seat.
@markydoodoo: [Shark Tank] INVESTOR: So, it's a bra, with a built in queso holder? ME: Yep INVESTOR: And you call it the- ME: The Bracho, yes