@sixfootcandy: And in conclusion, may I say that black robe is very slimming on you, Your Honor. And I've never seen a bigger gavel.
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@iamspacegirl: [Spelling Bee] Judge: Your word is... Grease. Me: Grease is the word? Judge: Yes. Grease is the word that you heard.
@1Happytwit: You shouldn't judge people. What if that bloke outside your window with a clown mask and knife is just a chef that lost his way.
@duplicitron: What if firemen acted like policemen and just drove around shooting water at anyone who looked like they might catch on fire.
@batkaren: Accidentally ran the wash with Ecstasy still in a back pocket. Now my jeans are freaking out, and the zipper won't stop grinding its teeth.