@WhitfordBradley: And Jesus said "If the lepers cannot afford healthcare, let them suffer, for poverty is a character issue."
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@DiscoFruit: me: *lights cig* do u smoke? girl: no, cigarettes killed my father me: oh, cancer..? her: no, an army of them, gunned him down me: wait what
@Sickayduh: ME: *angrily dragging wife thru the mall* Maybe THIS jewelry store will have one. HER: I don't think you get what a tornado watch is.
@wolfpupy: if i was the one who drove the titanic i bet i could have hit at least 3 ice bergs before it sank