@ImFunnyMang: And on the 32nd day, God had forgotten to end his free trial, so he was charged for the month.
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@4handfuls: Him: Well, when life hands you lemons... Narrator: Life only needed him to hold the lemons so it could punch him in the face.
@djdarrellripley: Now, if you all will excuse me I'm going into my closet and I'm not coming out until I find something with an elastic waist...
@Charles_HRH: Justin Bieber on the phone. Says he "won't be coming back to the UK in a hurry". Well played, Great Britain. Job done.
@Kyle_Lippert: There are 5 things I really hate: 1) Racists. 2) People who can't spell. 3) Math 4) Whyte people