@ImFunnyMang: And on the 32nd day, God had forgotten to end his free trial, so he was charged for the month.
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@nagunnatelya: Husband: Have you lost weight? Me: About 10 lbs H: Who you trying to look good for? *wink M: You don't know him. He's on Twitter...
@BeagirlNJ: I'm "I lost my car in a parking lot" years old *clicks alarm, clicks alarm* *silence* Am I even in the right parking lot?
@stevezorz: Facebook now tags fake news stories from sites like The Onion with #satire to protect users who lack 1st grade critical thinking skills.