@ImFunnyMang: And on the 32nd day, God had forgotten to end his free trial, so he was charged for the month.
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@notorious_stars: My girlfriend looks super hot without glasses. That's why I stopped Wearing them
@ItalianBratikus: When I get calls from unknown numbers I panic, decline and then wait for the voicemail like I'm about to be murdered.
@Sickayduh: [hospital] SON: I came as soon as I heard. What happened? DAD: The oying hit me SON: What's an oying? DAD: You are, kiddo *dies*