@TheRolo: And on the 8th day, God almost created Lionel Richie but was all like "Naw, I'll just hold off a few thousand years then one day HELLO!"
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@Snarfernini: A good education is pretty important, but I think being good looking might be more importanter.
@Shellsterca: *Goes fishing *Catches Spongebob *Hangs him on my wall as a trophy *Too lazy to buy a sponge *Uses Spongebob to clean toilet
@marlespo: Twitter: Tell me I'm funny! Instagram: Tell me I'm pretty! Facebook: Tell me I have real friends! Pinterest: Tell me how to knit a condom!
@gorrdano: Pilot makes a sudden sharp turn, comes on speaker "Just kidding!! Attendants will be by with new underwear. Have a nice flight everybody."