@Reverend_Scott: And on the 8th day, God created atheists and said, "Oh man, you're not gonna believe this."
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@MarcusTheToken: My neighbors are arguing. So I threw 6 shoes in the dryer. They haven't said a word since.
@Jacob_Swift16: Me: do you want to hear what happened to the last guy who threatened me? Bumper cars operator: i meant your time is up, like for the ride
@DothTheDoth: I can't wait for the stage of capitalism where we have to watch a 15 second advertisement before we remember a memory.