@kumailn: And on the 8th day, He said "Oh I'll make carbs delicious AND fattening LOL!"
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@numbertze: I eat my pizza with a knife and fork because I am from a big family, and you need weapons to protect your food at all times
@Sean_Burgundy_: Her: Why did you cancel your gym membership? Me: There were some changes in the vending machines that I didn't agree with
@jjax44: I hate it when I forget to cut the tags off my sandwich and everyone's like "New sandwich?"