@vladchoc: And on the eighth day, God let the dogs out. And there was much confusion among the Baha Men.
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@mattmanic: How cute would it be if park rangers had tiny handcuffs for raccoons that steal campers' food?
@CheetohFace: The Westboro Baptist Church is planning on picketing Fred Phelps funeral. I'm not sure they even know what they're doing anymore, you guys.
@letschillyo: iPhones need a feature where an incoming call doesn’t take up the whole screen so u can do other things while u ignore a phone call
@doktorj: My house is like an Indiana Jones movie. Partly because I walk around with a bullwhip, but mostly because of all the cobwebs.